“Winston, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Winston.”
i don’t even know what i’m doing anymore

what the heck was this guy doing saved on my computer?

what if there was a cat the size of a st. bernard? wouldn’t that be awesome?
Dog, why do you insist in sleeping on the hardwood floor when there is a perfectly nice floor cushion right next to you?!?!
i wanted to remove a tick from my cat but is was a nipple
you have no idea how often that happens to me
I understand you feelz. I’m like HOLLY! ANOTHER TICK! YAH SLUUUUUT! YAH NEED TO COVAH THAT COOCH UP AND PROTECT YO SELF GUURL I’M TALKIN BOUT……. oh that’s just a nipple… how many of those do you have?